Top 20 books in 2020

I made it through 376 books this year, that is 20 more than last year. Maybe just another strange contour to 2020, this means I actually read or listened to more than a book a day. That is hard to believe (even for me) especially since I didn’t really change anything about my routine. Maybe just more time alone this year overall. Yet, ironically, my most voracious month was January (before the pandemic) with 38 books. I won’t bore you with my reading/listening routine, I have outlined that in the posts from previous years but if you are curious about that, you can read more here.

As usual, consuming this many books was an intellectual exercise full of discovery and insight. 2020 was a particularly introspective year for me. I officially left my role as Executive Director of the Underground, finished our time in Ireland, moved back to Tampa and started a new role here. I also wrote another book (coming out next year) about calling and the way it changes over the course of our lives. This year of transition, and my retrospection is no doubt reflected in my list. Some books may have stood out to me precisely because I have been in a state of reviewing my own life and the forces bearing down on us all. There are plenty of really good books that don’t make the final list, which has more to do with me than the quality of the work. (You can see the full list at the end). Still, there are books that make the list which have to do with early childhood, parenting, leadership and the sweeping consideration of religion, history, poverty and injustice. As usual it’s an eclectic list.

I am breaking out of the top 10 form this year. Mostly because I think it’s unnecessarily hard to delineate between all the good ones, but also because I don’t think anyone reading will really care if I make it a top 20 list instead (you might even appreciate it).

Books can be like prescriptions. Not knowing what you need makes it hard to recommend, so really this is just a list of books which I read in 2020 that moved me. That I put down thinking, that was a really good book. Out of close to 400 books that only happened about 10% of the time. And only 5% make this list. Some of that could be because I am a tough crowd, but it could also represent the challenge you face in finding a book really worth reading. For those who can only read 10–20 books a year, or maybe even less, it is pretty important to make sure the ones you choose are great books. Which is mostly why I offer this list, to help you narrow the field for your own discernment. And, if I knew you and your situation, I might recommend one of these. I gave Small Animals to my daughter (who has a 3 year old). I gave a copy of Together to my housemates, and I bought copies of Dream Teams for my colleagues. How does the proverb go, “A word spoken in season is like apples of gold in settings of silver…”

So here it is, my favorites from 2020. Not in order of importance but in the order I read them.

Dream Teams: Working Together Without Falling Apart
by Shane Snow
In a time when team dynamics are both under pressure and more important than ever, this genuine, readable book is full of insights and ideas for modern teams. Part of what Snow does is paint a picture of what collaboration can look like. His chapter on the Wu-Tang Clan alone, is worth the price of the book.

The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap
by Matt Taibbi and Molly Crabapple
A staggering indictment on a generation with the greatest income disparity between the rich and poor. I recommend this book precisely because you are likely to disagree with so much of it. Still, there is a reframing of many of our core social problems (injustices) from the vantage point of wealth. Something I think has lost traction in the last 10 years, and needs to be brought back into focus, because it is essentially true. This is a fascinating and illuminating companion to Isabel Wilkerson’s book, Caste (which also made my list this year).

Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear
by Kim Brooks
In addition to the challenges that parents have always faced, there are social and cultural pressures on parents today which are both powerful and imperceptible. Part parental horror story, part social commentary and part parenting manual for the 21st century, this may be the most important book a parent with very young children could read. After reading it, I immediately bought a copy for my own daughter.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
by Lori Gottlieb
As I get older, both my fascination and criticism of modern psychology seems to grow. I find people unendingly interesting. I can see the allure of not only the soft science of the mind, but the wonder and curiosity of therapy. This book is utterly unique in its vantage point from which to view the work of counseling and therapy. Gottlieb not only opens the door to her clients’ minds, but her own, as she wrestles openly with her inner voice. She is funny, honest, vulnerable and wonderfully thought provoking.

Fields of Blood: Religion and the History of Violence
by Karen Armstrong
Never before has there been such a need for cross cultural/cross religious clarity. We know so little about the history and theology of those we now see and interact with on a daily basis. And as Armstrong asserts, that ignorance becomes fuel for violence. This project is so ambitious, unpacking the history of violence in every major religious tradition. More than just religious history, I found it surprisingly relevant and important. The ubiquity of media platforms makes this kind of ignorance more dangerous than ever. There is such a need for more than a cursory understanding of our worldview which are too often in conflict.

The Great Pretender
by Susannah Cahalan
As a follow up to her first-person experience in Brain on Fire, Cahalan offers a riveting account of Psychologist and researcher David Rosen’s incredible decision in the 1970’s; to enter an asylum to see what happens to a sane person when they are presumed to be insane. This book challenges not just our notions about mental health but our often fumbling and even harmful attempts to heal the mind.

How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
by Paul Tough
Having six children I have a growing body of convictions about what matters (and what really doesn’t) in parenting. This book, more than others I have read, puts the development of the child in focus (not just behavior modification) and uncovers some pretty revelatory ideas. I would recommend this one to anyone who has kids, teaches, or even works with youth. Excellent.

Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of Our Lives
by Daniel J. Levitin
This was the most fascinating book I read, as research for my next book. So many of our conceptions about aging have to do with decline. Remarkably this is just not the case. In so many ways growing older can and does improve our lives.

Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World
by Anand Giridharadas
An amazing, razor sharp, even prophetic challenge to those of us who are involved in causes for social change. While I did not agree with every part of his analysis (I rarely do by the way, so it really doesn’t need to be said), this was so indicting to the world of the activist that it was at times hard to read. It was always going to make my list if only for having the courage and conviction to call these trends out. And so much of the challenge is not only fair and true, it represents a way forward for those of us who mean to have clean hands and a pure heart in the work of compassionate engagement.

She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement
by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey
This book chronicles and also seems to signal a turning point in American culture. Weinstein is an archetype for a certain kind of leader, a certain kind of man, and a certain kind of power. It is not so much that we should root out all men like him, but that we should root out his likeness in ourselves. I have read several books that address this topic but none with such objectivity and restraint. The end result is even more powerful than a polemic. Every male leader should read this book, if only as a warning, that the world is changed. For the better.

Tightrope: Americans Reaching for Hope
by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
A beautiful, compelling and painful compendium of American social problems told through the lens of one American town. This book is a ground level view of not just issues but the real people who suffer because of those social problems. I would want every Christian to read a book like this, to face, feel and finally respond to the plight of the marginalized. There is no romanticism here, no melodrama. Just poignant stories of real life.

The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History
by Elizabeth Kolbert
Sweeping and magnificent, this book won the Pulitzer Prize, so I am not the only one who thought it was good.

Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
by Vivek H Murthy M.D.
There is certainly novelty in the Surgeon General openly considering the epidemic of loneliness as a serious threat to public health. But what made this book so interesting to me, was the almost imperceptible theology his conclusions imply. Christians have long been saying we are made for relationship; with God and each other, and sin (like a sickness) separates us from both critical relationships. Modern science is more than welcome to join that party. But the revelation is still as important as it has ever been, especially in a time of social fragmentation. We need each other. “It is not good for man to be alone.”

How Democracies Die
by Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt
I have zero interest in conspiracy theories and doomsday scenarios, usually because they are propped up by bad ideas, ill will and very little critical thinking. Even so, history reflects the possibility of real peril in the political choices we make. I read close to a dozen books this year confronting the political possibilities implicit in the collision of forces we are now witnessing, this one is by far the best. It is best because it does not anchor its analysis in an agenda (as far as I can tell) but in a reflection on history. Something we must surely all want to learn from.

Begin Again: James Baldwin’s America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own
by Eddie S. Glaude Jr.
James Baldwin is one of my favorite writers. He does not always speak a comforting word but a cutting word, which strangely always feels like love. Love for his people, and even for the reader. Still, it takes a book like this (and the scholastic commitment of someone like Dr. Glaude Jr.) to make sense of Baldwin’s staying power. Sadly, his revelatory ideas seem as fresh in 2020 as they did in 1963. This book dives into why in such a profound way. I loved it.

Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family
by Robert Kolker
I felt somehow off balance through every part of this book. It is not just a compelling story about a family struggling with the effect of severe mental illness, it is a kind of exposé on what happens to a community when too many of its people simply cannot keep their heads above water. Schizophrenia is proxy here for something deeper. I am not exactly sure what it is, but I was moved so deeply by this book and the burden carried by this single family.

The Captain Class: A New Theory of Leadership
by Sam Walker
Sport is a fascinating subject matter for considering teams and what leads them. This angle is novel, entertaining and full of really meaningful leadership insights. Even the idea of a captain (someone who is both a leader and a player) is a wonderfully important idea to begin with. If you are looking for a leadership book with some fresh material, this might be it. I really liked it.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents
by Isabel Wilkerson
Superimposing the idea of caste on the American story and its systems proves to be a more robust argument than you might expect. Wilkerson argues that the forces pulling us away from justice and community are about something more than just race or class. An important addition to the discussion and like The Warmth of Other Suns, just a beautifully written book.

The Master Coach: Leading with Character, Building Connections, and Engaging in Extraordinary Conversations
by Gregg Thompson
I am not particularly drawn to or moved by more practical books. Most of my recommendations will be more cerebral. But in my own work I am often asked about the new competencies of our time and I always offer coaching as one of the most important. This is probably the best book on coaching I have yet read, as (in my opinion) it delivers all the seminal ideas for both the theory and practice of coaching.

Think Like a Rocket Scientist: Simple Strategies You Can Use to Make Giant Leaps in Work and Life
by Ozan Varol
This is my favorite kind of book. It is full of insights gained by looking closely at a particular phenomenon, in order to understand broader principles for the time in which we live. These kind of Galdwellian chapters are full of killer ideas that can be repurposed in your own context and your own life. I loved it.

*My full list for the year (my evernote I keep on my phone).

/JAN/ Nemesis Games, the lie, stop walking on eggshells, inside out, how to, reclaiming conversations, someone who will love you in all your damaged glory, treason, chief joy officer, trick mirror, dream teams, the divide, mansions of the heart, a spy among friends, running on empty no more, the design of everyday things, sabriel, talk like ted, mirael, the tangled tree, the education of an idealist, the Daniel dilemma, catch and kill, buried deep, welcoming the unwelcome, the power of self compassion, the minimalist way, Tuesdays with Morrie, small animals, the minuteman, amity and prosperity, weapons of math destruction, women and power, behind the beautiful forevers, what the future looks like, invisible influence, salt sugar fat, this is how you lose the time war, 38

/FEB/ the culture of fear, know my name, god improv and the art of living, art and fear, the Icarus deception, the mosquito, beneath a ruthless sun, maybe you should talk to someone, give people money, the best yes, the end is always near, will my cat eat my eyeballs, the Christmas pact, night man, caffeine, attention, cut and run, grounded, American fix, Bruce Lee, breakshot, salt a world history, unlearn, Cleopatra, night, touched by the sun, a simplified life, one beautiful dream, tell my sons, my adventures with God, called to the fire, nothing to prove, 32

/MAR/ the glass castle, revelations, the pastor, a politics of love, finding magic, choose joy, unwrapping the greatest gift, fields of blood, you’re not listening, the assistants, stages of the soul, one more thing, wild, holy envy, swipe right, because internet, processed cheese, something needs to change, a long obedience in the same direction, it’s not about you, the age of surveillance capitalism, a return to love, the great pretender, the rock the road the rabbi, Jesus a pilgrimage, permanent record, Divine direction, forward, the sound of gravel, the power of consistency, the power and the glory, how we fight for our lives, how children succeed, the ones we’ve been waiting for, committed, 35

/APL/ mage errant, get out of your head, the hike, bullshit jobs, flea, the valedictorian of being dead, why won’t you apologize, where good ideas come from, the secret mother, when life gives you pears, a warning, a woman of no importance, second skin, the life cycle completed, the French resistance, if the oceans were ink, no happy endings, a mark of kings, the art of dying well, mobituaries, jay-z, the raven tower, hood feminism, hurricanes, idiot, chaos Manson, soldier sailor frogman spy, in the dream house, the witches are coming, when narcissism comes to church, meaningful relationships through conversation, the next pandemic, the remarkable ordinary, late migrations, tales of the beedle bard, 35

/MAY/ the splendid and the vile, brave not perfect, why were polarized, how to defeat a demon king, the boy from the woods, scrappy little nobody, this is going to hurt, lifespan, the first conspiracy, American predator, successful aging, permission to feel, prepared, winners take all, the order of time, tomorrow’s kin, the underground railroad, leadership strategy and tactics, Andrea Vernon, she said, recollections of my nonexistence, home work, the brief and wondrous life of Oscar wao, the seven principles for making marriage work, nobody will tell you this but me, no longer human, the nickel boys, our man, wow no thank you, the stars my destination, 30

/JUN/ the house of Kennedy, master of the senate, burnout, smacked, the man who solved the market, Herbie, resilient, gilead, every tools a hammer, more myself, the strain, tightrope, the office, nut jobs, forget nothing, why do they act that way, the sixth extinction, the grownups guide to teenage humans, our souls at night, I’m your huckleberry, the end of the myth, the defining decade, the power, nothing more dangerous, how innovation works, raise your game, dark towers, mythos, Lincoln’s last trial, when all is said, good economics for hard times, glorious ordinary, 32

/JUL/ together, bygone badass broads, agent 355, the space race, humans a brief history, untamed, how democracies die, outlaw platoon, open book, five days at memorial, beyond betrayal, cat tale, billion dollar whale, positively irritating, accidental presidents, begin again, legacy of ashes, my vanishing country, finding chika, a higher call, starlight, the teenage brain, the last smile in sunder city, hidden valley road, uncanny valley, a beautiful terrible thing, I am I am I am, Facebook, pale faced lie, too much and never enough, 30

/AUG/ future crimes, how to have impossible conversations, Florida roadkill, the power of myth, on being 40, orbiting the giant hairball, on writing, American Sherlock, thicker than water, the year of magical thinking, how to do nothing, the room where it happened, the underground girls of Kabul, the beautiful community, don’t burn this book, when you finish saving the world, biography of resistance, Celtic mythology, Calvin on prayer, elements of style, dawn of wonder, the joy of genius, kiss me like a stranger, good authority, sing backwards and weep, the mindful athlete, the five levels of attachment, the clutter connection, 28

/SEP/ the CEO next door, agent of influence, liminal thinking, speak with impact, your ideal future, good people, ender’s game, the compound effect, hell divers 2, stein on writing, the introverted leader, pursuing God’s will together, the beauty in breaking, growth iq, speaker for the dead, lost in a good game, the captain class, the five stones, an improvised life, happiness for beginners, the book of koli, the starfish and the spirit, goals, now you know, caste, Persepolis rising, there’s no plan b for your plan a, the aging brain, confessions of a funeral director, dealing with the devil, twilight of the gods, meaningful work, how to destroy america in 3 steps, humble pi, glad crash, a higher standard, 36

/OCT/ this isn’t happening, Lou Reed, surrendered to love, the world, how the Irish saved civilization, unspoken, wealth made easy, culture wins, ego free leadership, the lost world of genesis one, joy at work, the master coach, the heart of leadership, leading with dignity, cracking the code to a successful interview, intellectuals and race, pillar of fire, affluence intelligence, head on, hello world, the American story, the ghost map, surrender white people, murder by other means, tombstone, life inside the bubble, think like a rocket scientist, catching the wind, Madame Fourcade’s secret war, rage, whistleblower, awakening, 32

/NOV/ leadership through trust and collaboration, redemption, big friendships, dear girls, born to run, stiff, recursion, the only plane in the sky, the ride of a lifetime, the hilarious world of depression, the radium girls, the lazy genius way, the long distance leader, midnight in Chernobyl, area 51, no rules rules, 10 arguments for deleting your social media, the ruthless elimination of hurry, the language of thorns, the stress proof brain, the machiavellians, fantasticland, traction, leadership by example, 24

/DEC/ greenlight’s, whistling Vivaldi, the mental toughness advantage, 100 ways to create wealth, the practicing stoic, the fearless organization, ready player two, tireless, all you can ever know, afraid of all the things, dealing with difficult people, the end of religion, the yellow house, the legacy of sovereign joy, the how and the why, Jesus outside the line, white oleander, no greater love, The entrepreneurs roller coaster, all the impossible things, the scientist and the spy, a field guide to melancholy, the forgotten home child, praying with Paul, 24

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